New to Giralda, I see. Well, it takes all sorts around here. Take that shifty-eyed weasel by the fire.
Oh, he acts looks like a simple merchant, peddling meager wares, but watch what you say around him. The Empire’s got ears everywhere...
See those two there? They seem all chummy now, but that’s only because Var is trying to convince Jarek to desert the navy in Thisbē and join
those lawless bastards who sail from the Spice Isles. I’m sure that one will kill the other before the week is out, once they’ve got what they want from each other.
Then there’s always the usual mercs; bastards who’d happily kill their own mothers for a coin. Oh, they say those twins from Brelan aren’t so bad,
but a merc is a merc, and money is all they see.
At least there're no damned elves here tonight. One got uppity last month when I insisted the
bastard slept in the stables. A damn generous offer for a half-breed, if you ask me!
Mind yourself if you head into the Wilds. It’s full of things that
would happily eat you and shit you out without a second thought. Even the people who hunt those things are more beast than civil.
Anyway stranger,
what'll it be: a room, or a drink?
SKYE
Admin
Co-Founder
FIZZ
Admin
Co-Founder
ZIGGY
Admin
Co-Badass
SILK
Co-Founder
CURRENT MONTH: AUREL, 762
This month marks the transition from the scorching sun of summer to the cooling of autumn. The night skies become more magnificent as shooting stars are more frequent, and auroras dance across the horizon. Aurel is a time of harvest when the farmers gather the crops that cannot withstand the upcoming heavy rains of Nandir.
December 2023 Soft hiatus - have a safe, warm, and minimally dysfunctional holiday season!
October 2023 Site month change! New threads (unless set in the past, future, or an AU) should be dated "Aurel 762". See the Information tab for a description of the month. Characters in the Temple Crew should be mindful of the continuity of possible injuries, connections made, relationship changes, increase in wealth, etc. as much as possible as this is set after the campaign.
June 2023 Happy Pride! 🌈
May 2023 An affiliate audit has been completed. If your site's button was removed in error, please contact the staff directly or comment in the affiliate board.
May 2023 On of our image hosts (nickpic) is no longer running. Please excuse any broken images, we will rehost and replace as soon as possible!
January 2023 The site month has changed! Old & new Solstice threads may still continue at your leisure. + The Forsaken Temple campaign has started! The opening thread can be found in Brelan. This is set with enough time after Solstice events that characters will have no issue doing both.
December 2022 Merry Holidays! ⛄ 🔥 🎄 🎁 🧦 🔔 🎶 🕯
November 2022 Threads without 2022 replies have been archived (unless otherwise noted/requested). If you would like to resume a thread that has been archived, please contact the staff to have it reactivate!
October 2022 Happy Spooky season! 👻 💀 🎃 🦇 🕷️
August 2022 The new map is well underway and might be up by the end of the year!
July 2022 NEW! Bio template change-- now easier to use in BBCode tab & Preview tab + looks good on mobile! No need to change your apps unless you want to and, as always, the provided templates are optional to use.
June 2022 Happy Pride! 🌈
May 2022 NEW! Lore on Knights available in the worldbuilding board.
April 2022 Excuse the mess as the site undergoes routine cleanup and slow/ongoing lore revamping. Please note some boards may be temporarily unavailable as changes are made. If your character(s) are mistakenly archived or you're ready to resume activity, please contact the staff!
March 2022 NEW! Lore on Judicars available in the worldbuilding board.
February 2022 NEW! Alternative bio template option - minimal code/mostly text.
January 2022 Happy New Year! We hope everyone had wonderful holidays and a good start to 2022. ♡ The current site month has been moved to Sondu of 762. There are some updates for Noria's post-earthquake progress and info on a major in-game holiday at the end of Sondu - this can be celebrated anywhere on the map but the 'main' event will be held in Thisbē.
December 2021 Soft hiatus - have a safe, warm, and minimally dysfunctional holiday season!
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Jun 1, 2021 23:08:12 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 794 || NOTES: Apologies
Had his mother seen the way Nathaniel had acted, she would have scolded him non-stop for hours, claiming he had been raised better than that. But the truth of it was--he hadn’t been raised much at all by his parents, but rather by his uncle Benjamin after the first eight or nine years of his life. His uncle was a lot laxer when it came to raising or disciplining him, and he was more like a brother than a father figure to Nathaniel. The man had lost his wife during childbirth with what would have been his son. The timing had worked out, he supposed, given that Nathaniel needed a safe place, and Benjamin needed the company to ease the sudden loneliness and help him through his darkest times. The two had been quite the pair.
Still, Nathaniel aimed to please his family more than anyone else, and that guilt he would receive from them, along with his own disappointment in himself, was why he pushed himself to at least make peace and part on good terms--whether they would see one another again or not.
Despite Kira claiming she had at least ten reasons to apologize, he still did not feel she needed to. He did not need her apologies, and if she had ten reasons, he was sure he had double that amount. He only shook his head in response, with the faintest hint of a smile touching the edges of his lips.
He knew they would be accompanied by the guards, regardless of his invitation. There wasn’t anything to hide, really, and he had no intentions or expectations with this walk, so Nathaniel didn’t mind. It was an opportunity to get out and away from his work, and for her to get out of her own home, to enjoy the weather, and engage in whatever sort of conversation would unfold between them. Though Nathaniel knew he was much better at writing his thoughts down in letters than he was at speaking them, so he wasn’t entirely sure if he would have a whole lot to offer to the conversation.
As soon as he had spoken up for Kira, he nearly regretted doing so. She was a grown woman and a princess--of course, she could make her own choices and stand up for herself. She had urged the doctor and guards out of the room that night for his sake. But Kira had also claimed she did not often use her powers as a princess to order people around, and he got some sort of sense, whether it was from her demeanor, or from her letters, that she might have needed a boost of confidence that he had hoped to give her by standing up for her. He only hoped that she saw it that way and did not think him rude. He hadn’t meant to be like, or treat her, like everyone else.
Nathaniel quietly stood there as Kira made her demands. The guard, Leo, reluctantly agreed to her and held a hand out as if to tell her to proceed in whatever matters she wished to engage in. He would wait for a moment longer before he would begin to follow them.
He smirked slightly as Kira turned to him and asked where they were headed, and he offered a small nod, offering one of his arms to her and extending his other forward to indicate the direction they would be heading. His gaze remained forward as they began their walk, until the princess spoke up, thanking him. It had caught him slightly off guard, not expecting the gratitude, nor finding it necessary, but feeling slightly relieved that she hadn’t taken offense to it. He turned his gaze sidelong to her and forced a small smile. “You’re welcome,” he said with a bit of hesitation. “I apologize if I have overstepped any boundaries by speaking for you. I only meant to..." He thought for a moment for which word to use to describe what his intentions had been. "...advocate.”
Nathaniel fell silent again, his gaze returning ahead of them as he led her down the path. Shortly after, he spoke, as if trying to awkwardly force conversation. “Earlier--You said you have at least ten things to apologize for…” He turned his head to look at her and smirked, if only slightly. “Aside from thinking you need to apologize for showing up unannounced, I do not think I can accept any others from you--I think it is I who has at least ten, if not more, apologies to offer you… I hope you might forgive my brash behavior.”
He wasn’t entirely sure where he was leading her in this walk, or where they would end up, he just chose a direction and decided to follow the path to wherever it would take them, for now.
Kira had frustrating days in the past - especially when it came to her (utterly privileged) position in life - but today was quickly moving its way to the top of her list. From the way she had left her home, to the interaction with Nathaniel, and now having to deal with pushback from the guards. The princess managed to forget her manners long enough to let out a heavy sigh as she took the offered arm, placing her hand at the crook of Nathaniel’s elbow to be led wherever it was they were going. She hoped that since he had offered to go out and walk that it wouldn’t result in the same bickering as before. Did he feel more comfortable with others around? All of the talk about being appropriate had really thrown her, as he didn’t seem all that worried when they shared a drink together the night they met.
Even so, Kira managed to quell her now racing thoughts enough to respond to the man next to her. “You didn’t overstep.” She told Nathaniel, venturing a quick glance back to Leo who was keeping his distance as he begrudgingly agreed to do. “I appreciate the advocacy, all things considered.” She thought back to their heated conversation only a few moments ago where she supplied perhaps too much personal information about the disagreements she had been having with her mother about her own autonomy. There was a difference between control and advocacy, as Nathaniel had put it, the latter of which she had no issue with. It was something else entirely when people had forced things, opinions, or even people on the princess in the past. Of course there was still much of that, but at least now she felt some semblance of herself and not who everyone else had expected or demanded her to be. Most of the time it felt like such a performative act, especially when it came to her mother and those who refused to acknowledge her as anything other than princess.
Kira took a deep breath in as they walked forward, matching her companions' silence until his voice cut through the air between them. She felt the corners of her mouth turn upward as he spoke. “At least ten, that’s right.” Kira cringed at his reminder of her unannounced visit and how she had invited herself into his house as if she owned the place. It was in moments like those that she worried she was becoming a bit like her mother, not asking permission but merely thinking she had the right to behave as she wished because of who she was. “I don’t think your behavior was brash.” Her brows drew together as she looked down, watching their footsteps as they moved forward. “You have every right to be cross with me.” Kira admitted. Her naivety regarding their - or any relationship for that matter - had shown through in that action. She stormed in and made demands that were unfair of her to make, despite wanting to understand him so badly.
“You know, my brother has told me on many occasions that it's much easier to speak with someone when you are next to them rather than directly in front.” She paused, shrugging her shoulders. “He says it feels less intense and intrusive. Do you think that’s true?” Kira asked, finally breaking away her gaze from literally anything else and looking over towards him. “I mean, I know I can fill up a conversation with my own words and I feel like that’s what I have been doing to you since we met. Outside of our writing I have barely given you a chance to speak - or maybe it’s that you are more reserved and when I get nervous or feel anything but sad I can go on and on…” She trailed off, eyes back on the path in front of them when she realized she was doing exactly what she was talking about. “I just hope I don’t come off as an abrasive woman who always has demands and doesn’t care what others have to say.” A blush rose to her cheeks, and Kira was thankful for the setting sun giving her a bit of reprieve. “What do you think? Should we only ever speak in writing or side by side? Perhaps I would be more tolerable that way."
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Jul 28, 2021 21:33:21 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 902 || NOTES: Intolerable
Nathaniel felt slightly more at ease as Kira assured him he hadn’t overstepped and that she appreciated his advocacy. While he may not have seemed to be one to provide that, based on their heated discussion from earlier, he understood that he was wrong for any and all assumptions or judgments he had made. He probably wouldn’t say so out loud, but he at least realized so in his own mind. Maybe he always had, but his instinct of pushing people away seemed to cloud the better part of his judgment. He could have easily left it alone and let her leave, but for whatever strange reason, he was now walking beside her instead.
He simply nodded, forcing the slightest, reassuring smile. “Of course,” he said in response to her appreciation. All things considered. He contemplated her phrase for a moment. Was she referring to him and that he previously hadn’t seemed to be the type to advocate such a thing for her? Or was it more in regards to the situation and how she lived her life, used to being unable to speak for herself?
Silence always made him feel awkward and reminded him how horrible he was at conversing with others. He lived a very private life and never let too many people in. It was just easier that way. Nevertheless, he did enjoy listening to others, or learning about them, or offering up advice. So when Kira didn’t laugh at his sad attempt at making conversation but rather engaged in it, he couldn’t hide the small smirk that twitched at the corners of his lips. “Ah… You are being too kind-- You can agree with me that I was a bit harsh, I won’t be offended. I had no right to be cross with you.” He paused, remaining silent as if he were done speaking of the matter, and was falling back into that awkward silence as if he had nothing else to say.
In his own mind, he was simply trying to think of what else to say--how to explain his behavior. And then abruptly, his voice began cutting through the silence, “you just took me by--” but his words escaped him the same time Kira spoke. He huffed a small laugh out his nose, another almost-smile touching his lips. “Sorry,” he quietly muttered, allowing her to finish her thought.
Nathaniel listened, then allowed the words to roll through his mind as he pondered an answer to her question. “Hmm…” He hummed a silent acknowledgment to let her know he had heard her and was thinking on it. “I suppose there is some truth to that.” There was no eye contact necessary, and he figured that was the biggest reasoning behind it. He nodded before glancing down at her, catching her gaze unintentionally, and was thankful that she was already speaking again.
He couldn’t prevent the smirk that formed as she acknowledged that she filled up the conversation with her own words. If that wasn’t the truth--. He looked away and straight ahead of them as he continued listening, Kira was rambling now, doing just what she was claiming she was already doing. He breathed another laugh out his nose and shook his head, never interrupting her, and allowing her chatter to blow through the space between them. When she finally finished and questioned him on what he thought, he finally glanced back at her and raised a brow as if questioning if she was done. Once the silence lingered a bit more, he glanced back ahead and released a thoughtful sigh. He needed a moment to process her words and think of his own, but he was taking a bit longer than any normal person might.
“You would be more tolerable in writing or speaking side by side?” He repeated her statement, wondering why she would say such a thing. Did she want him to agree or disagree with her? Did she want him to assure her that she wasn’t intolerable? Nathaniel wasn’t too sure, and he wasn’t certain if he had the right response for that. And she was also seemingly still clinging to the idea that they would continue to speak after today, despite everything that had unfolded earlier. “As opposed to what, speaking face to face?” His question was spoken in jest, throwing it back on her, and his tone was filled with an insinuation that he did not truly think she was intolerable--even if he wasn’t saying that directly.
“I am a reserved person. I am a far better listener than I am a conversationalist. Though, I think you might make up for what I lack,” he sarcastically countered. But then his expression became serious again and shook his head, “I do not think you come off as an abrasive woman, and you’ve told me on several occasions that you hardly demand anything from others.” He paused, “and from what little I know about you--I don’t see you as the type of person who doesn’t care what others have to say.” He shrugged his broad shoulders before finally looking sidelong to her.
Kira’s question still lingered in his mind, and after a moment, he was bringing it back up. “Maybe it is me who would be more tolerable in letter writing or speaking side by side with. Though after today--Would you really wish to still do either?”
It was so strange to Kira that she was here right now. Not only in Noria - out of her tiny bubble that had been created for her in Vanyar - but with this man, in these moments, walking around as if she could do as she wanted. It was nice to pretend, at least for a little while, that there may not be consequences for her actions or that she might be able to engage with Nathaniel just a little bit longer. The princess had never taken an unplanned and mostly unchaperoned walk with anyone - least of all a man whom her mother had no idea existed or how they had come to know one another. She smiled inwardly at that thought, the same one growing on her face at his comment at being harsh.
“Harsh? You? Never.” Kira stated sarcastically, poking fun at him. Of course he had been a bit harsh, but it certainly wasn’t unwarranted considering the circumstances. She could only imagine what her own brother would do if someone were to approach him how she had Nathaniel. He had his aggression under control - especially in the past several years - but Goddess she knew next to nothing about Nathaniel and his history and just barged in as if she could rule over him and his household.
Somehow still, she managed to joke with him. A blush rose to her cheeks at the look on his face. Kira knew she had been speaking quickly and letting her thoughts run away with her, but was oddly happy that he could reply in jest and huff out even a puff of laughter at her expense. He seemed more at ease like this, or at least able to find humor in her and the oddities that came with the princess rather than some fault for who she was.
The princess let out a small sigh at his response to her question. “I’m glad I haven’t completely sullied your opinion of me.” She stated, eyes widening in mock surprise as he looked down at her. They continued to walk in whatever direction it was that Nathaniel was leading them, the comfortable silence working its way between the pair before he spoke once more. It seemed perhaps that was the way to get the man to speak - by not doing so herself, which would be quite the challenge. His question didn’t surprise her, but she thought about it for a moment and decided honesty was the best policy.
“I think I would.” She paused “If for nothing more than to goad you into revealing more about yourself.” Kira squeezed her hand where it was in the crook of his elbow. “But it's not entirely up to me is it? If you feel how you did when I shoved my way into your home - say no more, and I can let you be...at least for a time.”
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Sept 14, 2021 22:24:23 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 488 || NOTES: Not worth knowing
Nathaniel wondered what was going on through Kira’s mind in regard to him seemingly changing the tune of his mood from one extreme to another. Was she just as confused as he was, or would she think him to be crazy? Did that really matter to him? Then again, perhaps she was just as crazy for wanting to spend more time with him and accepting his invitation for the walk. Maybe they were both just gluttons for punishment.
He playfully narrowed his eyes at Kira as she sarcastically questioned his admission to being harsh. Nathaniel knew full well how he came across to others, there was no hiding it. He could be short-tempered and quick to react. He rarely gave people the time of day unless they proved worthy of it, and those who weren’t never stuck around him for too long anyway. “Pfft. Never,” he countered with equal sarcasm to her own, though his expression remained serious and unmoving as he kept his gaze forward.
“Yet…” He sarcastically added to her statement of his opinion being sullied by her. Nathaniel smirked and shrugged one of his shoulders. He knew and met a lot of people, both good and bad. Despite what Kira might think, she was far from the type of person he would think badly of. “Would my opinion of you really matter, regardless? You shouldn’t concern yourself with the opinions of others and what they think of you. You should be yourself and if someone doesn’t like that--would they be worth keeping around?”
He turned his gaze back down at her, watching her expressions curious if what he said would resonate with her at all. And he wondered if his opinion actually did matter to her, and why. She barely knew him and he held no real importance or influence that he would ruin her reputation or whatever it was she worried about in the effect of someone thinking poorly of her.
Even after the way things had unfolded, Kira still admittedly wanted to continue communications with him. To goad him into revealing more about himself? He huffed a small laugh and shook his head in disbelief, the gesture continuing as she questioned about it not being entirely up to her. He laughed again, “At least for a time, hmm?” He smirked and eyed her in question. “What would that be, a few hours? A day? I somehow have this strange sense that you wouldn’t allow something to go for more than a week.”
Nathaniel turned his gaze back ahead of them and let out a small sigh. “But therein lies the problem that there might not be much worth knowing about me..Nothing different or exciting...So why go through all the trouble of trying? Especially with someone as harsh and intolerable as myself.” He was still trying to push her away, even through sarcastic jest.
Kira smiled at his equally sarcastic remark, happy to simply engage in some pleasant conversation with him. She didn’t have the opportunity to engage with strangers, and in the past it had not gone as well as she would have liked. Logan had warned her about being too friendly to others, but she took that with a grain of salt as it was him who was giving that advice as a brother, an emotionally elusive human rather than a friend. Kira didn’t have many of those either, but felt that hopefully she was luring Nathaniel into at least being a friend to her - even if it was only through writing.
The princess listened carefully as he spoke, following the path as she glanced down at her feet. She had said a number of times how she didn’t - or perhaps didn’t want to care - about how people thought of her, but it was a hard ailment to work through. Especially so when people formed their own opinions about her from just a glance or a moment in her company. “I think opinions matter in a sense, if only for me to understand how other people see me, and what perhaps I can improve upon.” She paused for a moment, agreeing with him about if people didn’t like you that you should not keep them around. She directed her attention back to Nathaniel, then. “I agree, though.” She nodded. “I wouldn’t want anyone around who didn’t care to have me there or enjoy me as a person.” It was why she struggled to such an extent in wanting friends and acquaintances, but not wanting to open herself up to the harshness that other people could bring into her life.
Kira wasn’t so sure about what she expected or even wanted to hear from Nathaniel, but she knew he wouldn’t lie to her. If the princess understood anything about the man to her side it was that he was honest, even if it was to a harsh extent.
She mirrored his light laugh. “Haven’t you learned that I’m stubborn? So now that you have said that, it will be more than a week. A week and a day, perhaps...” Kira gave herself that mental note before letting out a groan as he voiced his next sentiment. “Nathaniel, I like to judge if people are different or exciting for myself.” She paused. “Also, I don’t trust your opinion of yourself.” She thought about what he had told her within their letter writing and how insightful he could be about certain things, but never when it came to himself. She wanted to know why, but knew he wouldn't answer even if she asked.
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Dec 5, 2021 22:35:03 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 467 || NOTES: walking that fine line
It seemed that Kira was all too concerned by how much she could improve herself, and while it was admirable that she cared to do so, he also felt a bit confused or maybe even curious regarding what her reason for it was. It was clear to him that she cared to please others and that she desired to be liked and accepted by others. Nathaniel decided to stay silent rather than to challenge her, but when she admitted that she agreed with him, he turned his gaze sidelong to her and offered her a small smile. “Then what would there be need of improvement for?” He quietly challenged.
He let out more of an amused, but still silent, laugh at her next words. She was very stubborn for what little he did already know about her. They both were, it would seem. “A week and a day…” He repeated and thought for a moment. At first, he contemplated stating that she’d be doing him a favor by giving him that long as a break from having to deal with her, but he refrained, because he didn’t really mean that. Instead-- “So if it goes past that, then, I might start to worry that you’ve been kidnapped or something happened...And I’ll send a whole slew of Valarocco Riders to search for you…”
Whether Kira picked up on it or not, it was his small way of saying that he wouldn’t really mind if she wanted to still talk to him after this. He also wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to.
He looked at her sidelong again as she groaned and dismissed his opinion of himself. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t think highly of himself, but it was also because he knew how closed off and private he kept himself from others. There weren’t a lot of people who knew much about him, and he did everything to try and keep it that way. It would only be a matter of time before Kira grew bored of him and came to realize that he had spoken the truth about there not being much to learn about him. Nathaniel shrugged his broad shoulders, “Suit yourself, then.” He smirked slightly and fell silent again as they continued their walk.
After a moment of silence, he inhaled deeply and held it until releasing the breath slowly as he spoke. “So… Tell me,” he hesitated a moment as if to almost fumble on what to call her. “...Kira.” It still felt a little strange to him to address her so informally. “Have you been practicing on any more fruits lately?” He said almost dryly, despite the humor insinuated in his question.
Kira rolled her eyes toward the sky at his comment, poking holes in her thoughts and making her think a bit more about how she translated her thoughts into words that made more sense. “I mean if it’s something I feel like I need to approve upon.” She paused. “For example, if I discovered that someone found me stubborn, I wouldn’t care much.” She glanced over at him then with a small smile on her lips. “But I may care if they found me overtly rude or bratty.” She offered, wanting him to know the difference in her brain of how she was versus how she could be presented. Typically it worked the other way around, where Kira was presenting herself as something completely different than what she was. It was part of the position, and she told Nathaniel as much.
“Many people don’t get the option to form a negative opinion of me.” She told him, letting out a small sigh. “I’ve been very well trained.” She chuckled at that, a small joke between herself and her brother bubbling to the surface. When they were both much younger they would pretend to be animals, as that is what they often felt like following orders and not speaking out of turn. Kira had gotten used to it, but Logan had always pushed back.
The princess was surprised to hear a bit of amusement fall from Nathaniel’s lips, figuring that in her presence he was trying to stick to his unmoving attitude. “If it goes past a week and a day you can very well assume I’ve been captured or married off at the whim of my mother which is essentially the same fate.” She joked, glancing over at him then. “You think you would notice a lack of correspondence?” Kira asked. “Or maybe you would notice your level of irritation tapering off?” She offered an alternative.
The small bits of silence that lapsed between them weren’t awkward and the conversation following didn’t feel forced. Kira felt comfortable enough and was able to enjoy a setting sun without a deluge of guards or words from her mother to interrupt a moment of thought. She could feel her mind wander back to Nathaniel's’ house, the way he reacted to her, but also the night they met and some semblance of trust that seemed to have been built over their short time of knowing one another. She could feel herself spiraling in her head, but was brought back to the present by her name - a shock, truly - passing over Nathaniel’s lips.
Kira let out an unexpected laugh, completely taken by not only his change of topic but the way he said it. “I can’t say that I have.” She pushed out a lip in mock sadness. “You see the kitchens have caught on to me, and the medics are...less than enthused with my new interests.” She paused, noticing the outgoing sun being covered by what might be storm clouds. “Why? Are you offering more practice? Have you managed to injure yourself since we last saw one another?” Kira looked up to him just as a raindrop fell on her cheek.
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Dec 22, 2021 22:39:03 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 760 || NOTES: Raindrops are falling
He understood what Kira meant regarding wanting to know if there were things she needed to improve on with herself. Yes–it would certainly be one thing for someone to complain about him being stubborn or that he lacked much emotion and didn’t smile or laugh too often. He was far too serious, but this was who he was and always had been. But like Kira caring if someone thought she was rude or bratty, he was sure he might care if someone accused him of something he wasn’t– and of course that had happened before. He let out a slow breath and nodded slightly. “And what would you do if that were the case? If someone found you overly rude or bratty?” He lightly challenged. Nathaniel was curious about how she would handle it herself.
He looked at her curiously at her next words of being well trained. As she chuckled, he allowed the faintest smirk to tug at the corners of his lips and he shook his head. Much as he had trained to be a soldier, he assumed Kira had spent a lot of her life being trained to be a proper lady–no, a princess, and he wondered if maybe they weren’t too different at all. He breathed a small laugh from his nose and nodded, “not that you are aware of, perhaps,” he lightly teased her.
Nathaniel was sure that a lot of people had formed negative opinions of him, mostly because he didn’t allow many people to know enough about him to be able to form their opinions, though he was sure their judgments were used to fill in the gaps. And he just didn’t care enough to bother worrying about it, really.
He smirked a bit more as Kira stated that a kidnapping or forced marriage would likely be the same fate. Perhaps he could agree with that. “Ah, yes… I suppose they would be the same fate.” Her next question caused him to pause slightly and he looked straight ahead as he let her works swirl around in his mind and he contemplated his answer carefully.
Nathaniel had tried pushing her away and stopping the correspondence for the fact that he didn’t wish to get too close to her. They were an unlikely pair and eventually it would have been forced to an end, so what was the point in continuing? Her question would have been a good opportunity to continue to push her away, yet he wasn’t the type of person to lie, no matter how contradicting he might sound now. “I think so,” he quietly muttered. “Yes.” He nodded to confirm his own words before his tone of voice lightened a bit, “perhaps I’d notice both,” he teased. In truth, he really had enjoyed receiving her letters.
Her laugh caused him to smile just a little more, and he laughed quietly at her confession of being caught by the kitchen staff and medics. He sensed that she was only joking, but part of him wondered if she was actually telling the complete truth in that. He paused in his steps and quickly gave himself a glance over as if checking for possible wounds, and with his free hand, he touched his side that she had stitched up for him. “No–I think I’m alright for now…” He turned to look at her, “Your stitching held up quite well, though–I must say.”
It was then that he noticed the drop of rain land and start to roll down her cheek, and without thinking, he lifted his hand and gently wiped it away before realizing what he had just done. He quickly removed his hand and glanced up at the sky, in an attempt to hide the sudden awkwardness he felt. It appeared rain, or some type of storm was on the way. great. He breathed a small laugh from his nose and shook his head, glancing back at her. “Perhaps we should end our walk early…Looks like it’s about to start raining,” he quietly suggested, unsure of whether he should feel relieved or disappointed.
But almost as if he had dared the sky with his words, it opened up, and rain began falling down on them. He raised his arm over his head to try and shield his face, cursing under his breath, as he frantically looked around for a spot of shelter. “Come on!” He gently pulled her along and started to run towards a large tree that he hoped would cover them enough to avoid getting completely drenched.
The princess had a feeling that despite talking about how others felt about her, or what she would do with that information - it would be a much harder time getting the same information from Nathaniel. She shrugged at his challenge, not fully knowing what she would do if someone found her rude or bratty. “I’m not sure.” She paused. “But I think having the information is important. I could see what made them think that and potentially work on those parts of myself - for myself.” She clarified, not wanting him to think she wanted to change for anyone - she certainly didn’t - but wanting to be the best version of herself, for herself.
Kira quirked her brow at his teasing comment, knowing that she would never know even half of what people said about her or her family. It didn’t bother her as much as it might with her brother, but Kira was also able to be more of herself with people than he was. Nathaniel included. “I’m certain you’re right about that.” She smiled, thoughtful for a moment before she allowed herself to ask the question on the tip of her tongue. “Has your opinion of me changed much since getting to know me?”
She had assumed as much. When they first met she probably appeared helpless, but had hoped that it wasn’t the only quality that he thought of when they were together or writing to one another. Kira could hold her own in a lot of situations, but it seemed that one was not one of them. Her face fell at the thought of that evening, and she went silent around the same time Nathaniel had. She briefly wondered if he would tell her the truth or give her another quip and brush it off entirely. Kira could feel herself retreating deeper into her own mess of thoughts about Nathaniel and their meeting, having put herself in a horrible headspace in only a few short moments.
Kira could feel a blush rise to her cheeks at his admission of noticing her absence. She smiled at that as she pushed her intrusive thoughts aside. “I’m glad my first patient has survived so long.” She told him, her smile pulling further at the corners of her lips. “I am at 100% for my rate of healing, thanks to you.” She added. Kira barely had time to think about his finger grazing her face before it was gone. She could feel the heat that it left in its wake, following his gaze upward as the rain began to pick up.
“Oh Goddess!” she shouted as they ran along for some semblance of shelter, her laughter picking up as the rain continued its assault atop their heads. Kira’s chest rose and fell with both amusement at the situation as well as catching her breath when they were safely under the tree. She looked over her shoulder and peeked past Nathaniel before focusing on him entirely. “It seems we’ve lost our guard.” She widened her eyes in mock horror. “Would you like me to go? I know how you feel about propriety and chaperones…” She trailed off, managing to keep a straight face as she attempted to speak over the growing wind.
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on Feb 1, 2022 20:22:54 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 523 || NOTES: What I think of you
Nathaniel wondered if Kira thought of herself as bratty or rude and wanted to know if others ever felt the same way about her–perhaps that was what she meant by wanting to know so she could work on changing that about herself. It would seem they could probably go around in circles on this conversation because Kira was still claiming that she would work on those parts of herself–for herself, even though he still saw it as her trying to change herself for others to accept her more. He simply shrugged his shoulders in response, “As long as it’s for yourself, of course…” He smirked slightly.
When she asked him if his opinion of her had changed since meeting her, he paused and just stared at her, speechless. He wasn’t entirely certain what to say, or maybe even what she wanted to hear. Did she hope he would tell her she wasn’t bratty and rude? Did she want him to tell her that she was? Or was she hoping to hear that he had developed some sort of liking to her? Would she want to know that? Nathaniel must have looked like an idiot just standing there staring at her–but he started to notice her expression changed and he could almost tell that her mind was returning to that moment they had met. He imagined it still haunted her–much like his childhood still managed to haunt him even after all these years.
It would seem he wasn’t going to answer her question, or maybe he was saved by the sudden onset of rain.
The sound of her laughter caused him to smile and chuckle quietly to himself. Once they were under the tree, shaded from most of the rain, he turned to look her over as if trying to make sure she was alright. Luckily it was warm out, so being wet wouldn’t put either of them from getting too cold. He hoped, at least.
But when she mentioned they had lost her guard and asked him if she should go, his brows furrowed in confusion. Why would he want her to leave and be out in the rain on her own? Surely she remembered the last time she wandered off on her own? But then she brought up him apparently having feelings regarding propriety and chaperones… He rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. “What ever gave you that impression?” He asked with a straight face despite his sarcastic tone.
He fell silent, the sound of the heavy rain hitting the leaves above them filling the air, most likely drowning their words if they were speaking. Maybe that’s what gave Nathaniel a little more courage to finally respond to her unanswered question.
“My opinion of you hasn’t changed…” He admitted simply, perhaps lacking much emotion. But then he continued, “I’ve always thought, since I’ve met you, that you are a strong-willed, kind, caring…” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “...beautiful woman…albeit a little bratty at times,” he playfully joked, as if trying to distract from his compliments.
Kira was glad that the day had taken quite the turn since showing up to Nathaniel’s home unannounced. She hadn’t come there for an argument, but understood why one had happened all the same. It wasn’t a mistake she would soon make again, though she was glad it gave him the opportunity to actually tell her a little bit of how he truly felt. Even if most of those feelings were those of frustrations towards the princess. She already gained an understanding that perhaps he wouldn’t be the easiest person to know, despite her best efforts.
She twisted her hair around, wringing out the water that had soaked through as they ran for shelter under the tree. Her laughter bubbled up again at his question, mirroring his eye roll. “I can’t be sure.” She paused. “Surely not the seventeen times you’ve mentioned it in the past hour…” She smiled as she trailed off, her back against the trunk of the tree and giving him a little nudge. Kira didn’t get the opportunity to meet many people in earnest, but he was one of the strangest ones she had the pleasure of getting to know. It seemed like he wanted to be honest and potentially get to know her, but his walls were so high that even her chiseling was proving quite difficult.
The princess let out a sigh as she tilted her head back, relishing the sound of the wind and rain as her eyes focused skyward. She enjoyed time outside - despite the weather - especially so when she didn’t have someone following her around. Sometimes it was hard to be left alone in your thoughts when guards were looming or even a few feet behind. The reprieve was welcome, and surprisingly interrupted by Nathaniel’s voice.
Kira stood still for a moment as a slow smile pulled across her face. She finally lifted her head and looked at Nathaniel, a laugh on the tip of her tongue as her cheeks pinked. “Goddess, was that a compliment? Or are my ears deceiving me?” Her brows drew together in mock confusion before she shook her head. “Brattiness aside, I’m glad to hear I haven’t completely sullied your opinion of me.”
Nathaniel chuckled softly as she nudged him, and he shook his head. “Not seventeen times. Sixteen, maybe…But definitely not seventeen,” he joked, despite the serious tone of his voice. He didn’t typically like to laugh or smile, and so he rarely did. There was a stoic, and mysterious demeanor that he held onto, and he went through great pains to keep everyone at arm’s length. It was just easier that way, and to him, smiling and laughing made him feel weak and vulnerable. Yet, despite how difficult it seemed for Kira to chisel away at his walls, she was making a small amount of progress.
He quietly watched her as she leaned against the tree and tilted her head back to look up at the canopy of leaves above them. Despite the loudness of the wind and rain, there was something peaceful and soothing about it and Nathaniel found himself quickly becoming lost in the moment. Kira seemed at peace, and maybe even content in her briefly found freedom from her guard, he imagined. And for a moment, he caught himself admiring her, against his better judgment.
When Kira looked back at him, he averted his eyes away and off in the distance, perhaps to see if her guard had caught up or was anywhere nearby. Surely, the man would grow angry the longer time went by where he did not have his eyes on her, and Nathaniel knew they could not linger here for too long. Hopefully soon, the rain would let out, or her guard would find them. But strangely, he didn’t want either of those to happen soon, because– Kira deserved to have a moment of freedom from her princess-trapped-life, he quickly convinced himself.
The faintest smirk crept along his lips as she called him out on his complimenting her. His eyebrows lowered in a mocked, confused expression, and he shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…I don’t give out compliments… I only speak truths and the facts,” he tried to play off nonchalantly.
He smiled slightly and returned his gaze to her, “And what about you, Princess?” he eyed her suspiciously. “Has your opinion of me changed since getting to know me?” Nathaniel wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to hear her response even though he was a little curious.
The princess was glad to hear even a minutia of laughter from Nathaniel. He had been so intense and closed off when they met, that she wondered when the last time he was able to laugh was. His letters appeared so much different than the man in front of her, but she was learning more about him by the minute - even if it was the last thing he wanted - and understood that there might be a bridge between the two Nathaniel's after all.
“Sixteen. Ok, understood.” Kira nodded and gave him a small eye roll. She was slowly getting to know his sense of humor a little better. It was dry, which she could definitely appreciate, as she didn’t quite care for gregarious and outlandish jokes. They stood there in a comfortable silence, Kira enjoying a moment of simple relaxation with someone new. After a moment, the princess looked over at him and followed his gaze out to nothing in particular, wondering if he was pondering his next escape.
She narrowed her eyes and squinted out, wondering if her guard would make his appearance. Seeing that they were in the clear for now, she turned back to Nathaniel. “I think some people might disagree with what you’re referring to as facts.” She paused. “But I’ll accept them all the same.” She kept her eyes on him, wondering if in these moments it would help her see through his walled exterior a little better. There were moments, albeit small, when she thought she might be getting glimpses of him that he didn’t necessarily want to share.
Kira returned his smile and sent her brows upward. “Since when do you care about my opinion of you?” She challenged, though fully intended on telling him her observations. The Princess had a lot of time to reflect on who he was and her opinions since their initial meeting, especially being cooped up and pouring over letters. She had tried to grapple with the man she first met, the man in the letters, the man she had seen earlier that day, and the one she was with now. Of course they were all the same human, but it was a tizzy keeping up with the different facts of Nathaniel.
“Well at first I thought you were a hero, which quickly turned into you being very stubborn - which is still true - and I finally settled on the fact that you’re quite complex.” She paused to gauge his reaction before continuing on. “Stop me if you get frustrated with my opinion, but I think you are more caring, compassionate, and at times even downright charming than you give yourself credit for.” Kira looked away for a moment, considering her next choice of words, before she continued. “At the end of the day, despite all the complexities, my opinion has changed for the better. It could be in part that when I manage to see different parts of you - even the complex ones - it makes you that much more interesting to me.”
Post by Nathaniel Shaw on May 29, 2022 21:55:54 GMT -6
I built these walls to hide my ghosts
You trace the wounds exposed.
I try to let you in.
But I fail again and again.
TAG: Kira Sophia || WORDS: 626 || NOTES: Interesting?
There were two sides to Nathaniel’s personality–There was the outer, stand-off-ish, serious side that everyone saw, and then there was the kind, caring, (and maybe even charming) person he reserved for those who managed to gain some piece of trust or respect from him. Somehow, Kira had managed to do so, and he wasn’t entirely sure how or maybe even why. Nathaniel knew he wasn’t easy to get along with, and yet, Kira didn’t seem to give up on him for whatever reason, and maybe that was why he opened up, however minute.
Kira, on the other hand, seemed to want approval from others, as much as she tried to deny it. She hinted at people not liking her, or that she wasn’t the things Nathaniel had just complimented her on. It made him wonder if there were two sides of Kira, one of which he hadn’t quite seen yet. He didn’t respond to her statement, but instead, just kept his gaze on hers, his expression speaking for him in that he was confused by her doubt.
His lips twitched in the slightest manner of a smile at her question and he shrugged only one of his shoulders. When he parted his lips to speak, Kira was already giving her opinion, despite his non-response. Nathaniel kept his gaze on her for a moment as she explained her opinion of him. He disagreed with her claiming him a hero–though he was perhaps being modest in that. The other two things–stubborn and complex, he could agree with, and he breathed a small huff of a laugh, which quickly disappeared as she instructed him to stop her if he became frustrated. His brows furrowed and he listened as she went on.
“I think you are more caring, compassionate, and at times even downright charming than you give yourself credit for.” Her words surprised him, a little, though he was unsure why she would think they would frustrate him, aside from him not wanting to give her the wrong impression. As she looked away, so did he, and he stared down at the ground, not quite sure how to respond. Various ideas crossed his mind. ‘I hope you will keep that to yourself, as I have a reputation to uphold,’ or ‘I don’t know whatever gave you that impression because that is very untrue.’
But before he could give her one of those answers, Kira was speaking again. Nathaniel kept his gaze down and let her words roll through his mind. She thought he was interesting? What was that supposed to mean–that he was a form of her amusement? If he wasn’t complex, as she put it, would she think him dull and boring and not worth speaking to? Was he just a puzzle she was trying to solve because she was bored?
Nathaniel breathed another short, and perhaps annoyed and disingenuous laugh from his nose. He was silent for a moment after, and he contemplated how to respond. Would it be better to speak his mind or to hold his tongue to keep the peace of the moment?
“I see–” He finally said, quietly. “Though, I’m sure a lot of people would disagree with your opinion of me.” He purposely used her words, twisting them slightly to fit himself.
He finally glanced back at her, deciding to keep the peace this time around, rather than to challenge or argue with her as he had already done so back at his family’s manor. “Regardless of whether or not your opinion of me is true–I do hope you will keep that to yourself, as I have a reputation to uphold…” he sarcastically joked.